Contemplation 2 | Unconditional Love

They say parental love is unconditional, those martyrs with their lovers are exhibiting unconditional love, and those who offer their lives in service of the poor and the sick, but it that really the case?

I apologise to burst your bubble but there’s no such thing as unconditional love.

The world we are living in operates in a law of reciprocal exchange, meaning, we always get something in return for our every action. It may be tangible or intangible, but the point is, there is always something. Most of the time is the promise of emotion.

For lovers. He who is willing to do anything and everything for one he loves and claims that he gets nothing out of it is fooling himself. It may not be something physical but the opportunity to do something for someone is enough as a repayment for his action, and that is why he is willing to do more for that someone. The feel good emotions brought by the romanticised idea of love justifies his martyrdom act. Until he could not get enough and starts demanding for more attention and exchange more than the hormonal influx in his body and brain, unconsciously admitting the true nature of his prolonged infatuation.

For parents who toil to provide for their family, addressing the effect caused by their action we hope that they committed with eyes open. A responsibility they put upon themselves, an additional weight they willingly put over their shoulders that they must for indefinite time. Parents providing for their families is like a chef cooking good food, they both are just doing their job as expected. Not because a lot of people in the same position suck, we should glorify people who are doing their job, it is almost equal to lowering our standards. Besides, no one forced them to be in that position, it is nothing but a product of their own action. To go back to our point, same with lovers and philanthropy which would come next, everyone operates for that feel good emotion and for those hormones.

The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me.

Matthew 26:11

From the time of Jesus up to this day, poverty still exist, why? Because we are unconsciously tolerating poverty, our intention to help is just delaying what is inevitable. But no one can stop someone from doing good, because it is the good and it feels good. The same reason why people do what they do even without monetary repayment, for the good feeling they get from helping other people.

But if you don’t help them they will die. Correct, just like everyone of us, their demise will only be a bit premature and will definitely end their suffering. Last time I checked no one has outlived life yet, even the great minds that ever lived. But despite of losing them, the world remain spinning, and civilization continues to progress.

In the end, it’s not a question of whether the good feeling is worth the amount of price you had to pay to attain it but is it right to seek for external source to feel good when the hormone that produces those emotions reside inside your body that you can access anytime?

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